Just went to Gianinos

Don't take a dog on the space shuttle, b/c if he sticks his head out when ur coming home his face might burn up.

Yay, i will blog more soon

Why is Chuck Norris roundhousing the moon? Because he can.

Chuck Norris: The Vietnam War ended over thirty years ago. Nobody told Chuck Norris.

Q: What do you call a cow with a sense of humor?
A: Laughing stock or cheese.

Where are we going? And what's with this hand basket?

Einstein said talking to yourself is a sign of intelligence. Answering yourself, however, is a sign of insanity.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.

You say tomato, I say ketchup.

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.

Chuck Norris: Newton's Third Law is wrong: There is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?'.