I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

At my first Cocktail party..... That i can remember... And....... I... Am... BORED

I had my coat hangers spayed.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. 4More txt SUJ

If they ever make a Swashbuckling School, I think 1 of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say. Except after 'I love you' or 'You're going to live'.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. 4More txt SUJ

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Why is Christmas like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy in a suit gets all the credit.

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